We all know them: those dialogues in erotic stories that sound like they’re from a bad movie. “Oh yes, that feels so good!” or “You’re so beautiful!” – and we just think: Does anyone really talk like that?
The answer is no. Real people speak differently. And that’s exactly why many dialogues seem so wooden.
What dialogue really needs to do
Before we look at how to write better conversations, let’s first understand what dialogue is supposed to do:
It drives the story forward Every piece of dialogue should move something forward. A confession, an invitation, an argument—something has to happen.
It conveys important information But please, not like an encyclopedia. People tell things casually, between the lines, sometimes even reluctantly.
They show us who is speaking The way someone talks tells us everything: Is she shy? Is he arrogant? Nervous? Confident?
They show the relationship How two people talk to each other says more about their relationship than long descriptions.
Why real people talk differently
Imagine you’re standing in a bar trying to get to know someone. Would you say, “Hello, I’m very pleased to make your acquaintance. I’ve been watching you from afar and wanted to take this opportunity to strike up a conversation with you”? Probably not. More likely something like, “Hey, I’m Marc. I saw you from afar and thought I’d come over.”
This is where many beginners go wrong: we write dialogues as if people spoke in perfect sentences. But let’s be honest—when was the last time you spent an entire day speaking in polished prose?
People speak differently:
- They break off sentences
- They start over
- They search for words
- They beat around the bush
- They don’t always say what they mean
This becomes even more extreme in intimate moments. Who is eloquent when their hormones are raging?
The goal behind the words
Here comes the most important point: every person in your dialogue wants something. Always.
They want to:
- Seduce someone
- Protect themselves
- Maintain control
- Build intimacy
- Justify themselves
- Hide something
This goal shapes how they speak. An insecure person talks differently than a dominant person. Someone who lies talks differently than someone who is honest.
Show emotions and insecurities
In erotic stories, a lot happens in the mind. Thoughts race, doubts arise, desires battle with fears.
Let your characters show this:
- “I… well… if you want?”
- “Wait. No, go on.”
- “That’s… fuck, that’s good.”
People think while they speak. They form their thoughts as they talk. This makes dialogue come alive.
Practical tips for better dialogue
Read your dialogue aloud If it sounds weird, it is weird. Real conversations have a rhythm.
Allow for pauses Not every sentence has to be perfect. Sometimes a pause says more than words.
Use body language “Yes,” she whispered. “Yes,” she shouted. “Yes?” she asked doubtfully. Three different meanings, one word.
Forget politeness In intimate moments, people aren’t polite. They’re real.
People speak in fragments
Forget everything you’ve learned about grammar. At least for dialogue.
Instead of: “I want you to touch me because I desire you.” Better: “Touch me. Please. I want… I need this.”
Do you notice the difference? The second dialogue shows desire, insecurity, and urgency. The first sounds like an application to the government.
The subtext makes the difference
What people say and what they mean are often two different things.
“You look tired.” (I’m worried about you.) “Nice apartment.” (Wow, you have money.) “We should take it slow.” (I’m scared.)
In erotic stories, subtext is your best friend. People rarely talk directly about sex. They circle around the topic, test boundaries, send signals.
Your job as an author
You are not the translator for your characters. You are their mouth. Let them stammer, doubt, correct themselves. Let them be human.
Perfect dialogues are boring. Real dialogues are exciting.
Writing Prompt
Write a scene in which two people are alone for the first time and feel attracted to each other. One is nervous, the other confident. But: They are not allowed to use the words “sex” or “attractive.” Everything must be made clear through their way of speaking, their insecurities, and their hints.
Time limit: 15 minutes. Let them stammer, interrupt each other, and struggle for words. Show us their feelings through what they don’t say.