As a writer who explores eroticism and sexuality, odds are that you’ve encountered the challenge of celebrating and exploring bodies that don’t conform to the mainstream standards of beauty. That’s where body positivity and erotic self-love come in. These concepts encourage individuals to embrace their bodies and love themselves in the fullness of their erotic experiences. In a society that often denies us the freedom to do so, practicing body positivity and erotic self-love is a radical act of self-acceptance that challenges the lies we’ve been taught about what is “attractive” and “normal.” Let’s take a deep dive into how we can cultivate a more body-positive and erotic self-love mindset as writers.
Examine Your Internalized Bias
Despite our best intentions, it’s easy to internalize the oppressive beauty standards that surround us. Before we can begin to become more body-positive, we must first be aware of our personal biases. Take time to explore your own beliefs and perceptions about bodies that don’t fit the mold of Eurocentric beauty ideals. When we are aware of these biases, we can work to dismantle them and create new ways of seeing bodies as unique and beautiful.
Highlight Diversity in your Writing
As a writer, you have the power to reject the capitalist, heteronormative media that tells us what bodies are “sexy” or “worthy.” Your protagonist does not have to be thin and white for your story to be sexy. Try to include more diverse, intersectional bodies in your writing. Make your characters multi-dimensional in their beauty and allow them to express their eroticism in ways that feel authentic to their bodies.
Self-Love Practices
Embracing body positivity and erotic self-love involves focusing on the unique beauty and pleasure of our own bodies. Take time to explore your own body through self-pleasure and self-care. Start by taking a long bath or shower and indulging in your favorite skin care products. Experiment with lingerie and other attire that makes you feel sexy and confident. Treat yourself to a solo date, for example, by watching your favorite movie or reading a book in bed while exploring your body.
Celebrate Others’ Bodies
Society’s beauty standards can make it difficult to support others on their journey towards greater body positivity. This isn’t just about appreciating bodies that match your tastes, it’s about recognizing the beauty and value of every person’s unique body. Celebrating other people’s bodies, regardless of size, shape or appearance can help you overcome your own internalized biases. Social media platforms such as Instagram can be inspiring access points for engaging with wider communities of body positive, erotic artists, photographers, writers, and more.
Advocate for Body Positivity and Erotic Self-Love
Encourage your friends, family, and social media followers to embrace body positivity and erotic self-love. Speak out against fat-shaming, slut-shaming, and any hate speech that degrades and dismisses the beauty of diverse bodies. Host workshops, participate in online chats or organize meetups to discuss how to be more body-positive. Send out newsletters, tweets or Instagram posts as a writer, promoting body positivity and erotic self-love as essential aspects of feminist activism.
Embracing body positivity and erotic self-love is a journey full of challenges but one that is worth embarking on as a feminist writer. It requires us to recognize our internalized biases, celebrate diversity, and advocate for radical self-acceptance and pleasure. Practice makes perfect, but remember that it’s not about perfection—it’s about accepting who you are, where you are, and celebrating the beauty of everyone’s unique bodies in the process. Let’s work together in building a more body-positive, sex-positive future.
