As writers of erotic literature today, we face an exciting challenge: How can we create eroticism beyond outdated gender clichés? Let’s take a closer look at how you can forge new paths in your writing.
The Burden of Tradition
Traditionally, the female mouth was often reduced to passive qualities: “soft lips,” “gently curved mouth,” “invitingly parted lips.” The male mouth, in contrast, appeared as an active conqueror: “demanding,” “commanding,” “relentless.” These descriptions reflect outdated power dynamics and unnecessarily limit your characters’ erotic potential.
Opening New Perspectives
Instead, you can:
- Decouple your characters’ activity from their gender
- Make power dynamics flexible and situation-dependent
- Freely mix traditionally “masculine” and “feminine” attributes
Old example: “His demanding lips conquered her soft, yielding mouth.”
New example: “Her lips demanded an answer, and his mouth yielded willingly to her.”
Agency Through Language
Pay special attention to the verbs you use. Instead of “her mouth was kissed,” write “she kissed.” Rather than “her lips parted under his,” describe how “she parted her lips to taste him.” Make all your characters active participants in their erotic encounters.
Beyond the Binary
Think beyond the binary gender system:
- How do you describe the mouth of a non-binary person?
- What new tension emerges when you consciously avoid gender-specific attributions?
- How can androgynous descriptions heighten erotic tension?
Rethinking Power
Dominance and submission need not be tied to gender roles. A character can:
- Be dominant in one moment, submissive in the next
- Exercise power through restraint
- Find strength in conscious surrender
Practical Exercise
Take an erotic scene you’ve already written and:
- Swap the genders of those involved
- Check if the descriptions still feel “natural”
- If not: Why? What assumptions are embedded in your description?
- Revise the scene until it works convincingly in both variants
The Art of Balance
Feminist erotic literature doesn’t mean you must completely abandon traditional descriptions. It’s about:
- Making conscious decisions
- Using or breaking clichés purposefully
- Giving all characters their own sexual agency
Modern erotic literature can be both sensual and emancipatory. Your task as a writer is to create a space where different forms of desire and power can coexist equally.
Writing Tip: Create a list of adjectives and verbs you frequently use for mouth descriptions. Mark them as “traditionally masculine” and “traditionally feminine.” Then experiment with deliberately breaking these attributions. What new, exciting images emerge from this exercise?
